And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake, will receive a hundred times more and will be given eternal life. But many who now are first will be last, and many who now are last will be first.
Matthew 19, 29
Jesus is very radical! He does not want that something takes up space in our hearts, except Him. That almost sounds as if He were a selfish dictator. But He just has our well-being in mind. He wants us to have a life free of care. But if I myself must always take care of everything possible, I am not free. He wants us to live in peace. But if I always have to defend all sorts of things and always have to fight for my rights, I do not have peace. Jesus often told me that I should stop working. But we still had to live! I had no contract with a company or a group of sponsors. Since I had a long internal struggle: For a long time my existential fears won and I continued working, at least 12 hours a day. But He stuck to his guns. Finally, I gave the leased land back, leased my own country and sold the cattle. That was very, very hard for me. As the fear about our future ruled me. I consoled myself that I could sell the land and house in case of need. But God kept his word: He cared for me. Without my help, there were people who supported me. You will not believe how great the relief was, when I finally realized that God cares for me better as I myself could! If we really give Him everything from the heart and are free from all, then He can let flow his grace. Then He will take care of us, better than we can itself. He wants that we are free! There are many who take senior positions in the Church of Christ. But they ” have ” too much. Honor, respect, pride and self-righteousness reign then. They defend their position. But Jesus is the Lord of His church! He himself calls people for certain tasks! And He keeps His people, and supports them so that they can honor and worship the Lord (and not themselves). Some are the last at god’s kingdom, and many – who give all for the Lord here on earth without causing big sensation, – will be the first. With God, everything is just a little different as here with us humans!
Thank You, Jesus, You have nothing but good things with me in mind! You give peace that surpasses everything. You give freedom that seemed impossible to me before. You are the Lord, who keeps His word, and on whom I can rely on. Yes, You are my wonderful friend, helper and savior!