Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
1.Moses (Genesis) 2, 24
This is God’s creation order. Parents are there for their children and at some point they leave home and go their own ways and start a new family. Every little sparrow flies out of the nest at some point and the sparrow parents have done their duty.
Later the commandment was added: Honour your father and mother. The Ten Commandments are written to adults, not to little children. The adults should care for their parents, cherish them and not abandon them to misery, as there was no pension system. They should honor their parents, but not be bitter against them, not full of hatred, but friendly and with good will and heart care for them, and be thankful for all that their parents have done for them.
It is certainly not a commandment with which one can force small children to obey or manipulate and influence large children. Authority, honour and love must be acquired, it is not automatically there with the “office” of the parents.
There are so many conflicts where parents interfere in the lives of their children all their lives and demand their rights. Where they make adult children feel guilty and cannot let go of their children. There is so much bitterness, quarrelling and hatred. There is much forgiveness, blessing and love needed to overcome it.
The parents have to let go and the children have to become independent. They are not allowed to play the game of manipulation, but to defend their new family and be there for them. They must not allow themselves to be morally blackmailed, that leads to quarrels. They must stand their ground and accept the new responsibility of their new family. Then there is relaxation, friendship with the parents and a real honour.
Here again the scheme: Recognize problems or let them show themselves – forgive – recognize new ways and tasks – bless – friendship.
We parents have to see how God is father, what character He has as father. And that is how we should be: Helpers for the children, so that they become strong, independent and responsible. They will thank us for it.
Thank You. Father in heaven, You are sooo good to me! You only think of me and ask for nothing. You shower me with blessings and rejoice when I like to be with You. You’re wonderful.